Learning a new language comes with its own set of interesting challenges, and for learners of French, one of these challenges is knowing when to use the informal tu and when to use the formal vous, especially if your native language is one which only has one word for “you”.
Mastering this nuance, however, is important to help you converse in French like a native. This subtle distinction can greatly affect the way you communicate with others and is a crucial aspect of French etiquette.
The Coffee Break French Show is a podcast series of bite-sized, friendly conversations in which we demystify tricky French language topics. In the latest episode, Mark and Max explore the key points related to the use of tu and vous, shedding light on the rules, the exceptions and the social context that surrounds this linguistic choice.
In this article, we are going to look at the tips they give us to be able to confidently hold a conversation in French, choosing whether to go with the informal tu or the formal vous.
Continue reading to find out more and why not listen to the podcast as you go?
‘Tu’ or ‘vous’?
Before we get into when to use tu and when to use vous, we should say that while it’s an important and interesting topic for French learners, don’t get too hung up on it! The most important thing is that you are using your French to communicate, and if you use the “wrong” word for “you”, people will understand you’re a learner and will just be happy that you’re practising your French with them.
Now, let’s get into our topic. One of the fundamental distinctions in French language usage is between tu and vous. The choice between these two forms of address is not arbitrary, but rather dictated by politeness and respect.
‘Vous’: a matter of politeness and respect
- Use vous when you want to convey politeness and maintain a certain distance in your conversation.
- Address older individuals, people in professional settings (e.g. restaurants, shops) and strangers with vous.
- It is a common choice when interacting with people you don’t know well or who hold a certain level of authority.
‘Tu’: reserved for family and friends
- Reserve tu for close relationships, such as family and friends, and when addressing children.
- The use of tu indicates a more intimate and friendly level of communication.
The plural “you”
- When speaking to two or more individuals simultaneously, always use vous.
- This rule takes precedence over other considerations, so vous is used in both formal and informal situations to refer to a plural “you”.
‘Tutoyer’: a checkpoint in friendship
Transitioning from using vous to tu can be a significant moment in a relationship. It reflects a closer, more intimate bond between individuals.
Often, friends in the making ask each other on se tutoie ? to establish whether they should switch to using tu. This question uses the verb tutoyer, which means “to use the tu form with”. Vouvoyer, on the other hand, means “to use the vous form with”.
Key phrase: On se tutoie ? – Shall we use the tu form with each other?
Some anecdotes
To better understand the nuances of using tu and vous in French, in this episode Mark and Max share some personal anecdotes with us, which highlight how choosing between tu and vous can be dictated by the context, even between the same two people.
Social context can influence choice
Mark tells us that he once attended a work event in France where he initially used vous during the day when interacting with colleagues. However, in the relaxed atmosphere of a restaurant later on in the evening, they switched to tu. The next day, back in the formal setting of the conference, they returned to using vous. This demonstrates how context can influence your choice.
Max talks about his teacher at school, who was also the father of a football teammate. In the classroom, he addressed the teacher as vous, but used tu when interacting on the football pitch. This example underscores how the social context can govern whether to use tu or vous.
A sign of growing up!
Max explains that, in French culture, the first time someone addresses you with vous is often seen as a moment of growing up or becoming more mature. This typically happens around the time when teenagers start to transition into adulthood.
A visual summary
Before we go, there’s one last thing to mention about tu and vous, which may have already occurred to you if you watched or listened to episode 1 of our series, and that is pronunciation! In episode 1, Mark and Max discussed the difference between the vowel sounds u and ou in French, so make sure to differentiate between the u in tu and the ou in vous. If you haven’t already seen it, you can find that episode here, and you can practise your u and ou vowels just by saying the two words for “you”!
Mastering the distinction between formal and informal language will make your experience of speaking French richer and more complete. For example, the transition from vous to tu can be a meaningful checkpoint in developing closer, more intimate relationships with native speakers.
So, whether you find yourself addressing a new acquaintance with vous or using tu with a close friend, you’re now equipped to make the right choice in your French conversations. Embracing these language subtleties will enhance your ability to connect with French speakers and immerse yourself more deeply in their culture.
If you found this post interesting, make sure to listen to the full episode with Mark and Max on The Coffee Break French Show. In this series of chats between our language experts, we look at a range of topics for French learners, so make sure to subscribe to our podcast feed and our channel on YouTube.
Plus! To get regular free French lessons in your inbox, you can sign up for our short (coffee-break-sized) email lessons that will help you improve your French. You will also hear from Mark, the founder of Coffee Break Languages, giving advice for language learners at any level. Sign up below!
Finally, while it may seem daunting at first, remember that with practice and experience it will become more natural. In the meantime, making mistakes is normal and native speakers will always be happy to hear you make the effort.
Happy Coffee Breaking!
